Expectations vs Reality

This is a strategy that will help you work on coordinating assistance into your life. 

It will show you merely what it is and how acceptable it feels to accomplish something pleasant for somebody without anticipating anything consequently.

So often, either consciously or unconsciously, we would like something from others, especially once we have done something for them -- "I took care of care of her child last week, she should offer this week." 

It is almost like we maintain a score of our good deeds instead of recalling that Giving is its reward. 

 

When you do something beautiful for someone, just to do it, you'll notice a lovely feeling of ease and peace. 

As vigorous exercise releases endorphins in your brain that make you feel good, your actions of loving-kindness discharge the psychological equivalent. 

Your benefit is the sense you get in understanding that you take part in the work of kindness. You do not want something in return or a"thank you." You don't also need to let the person know what you have done.

What interferes with this peaceful feeling is our expectations of reciprocity. Our thoughts interfere with our friendly atmosphere as they clutter our minds, as we get trapped in what we expect we would like or need. 

The solution is to notice your "I want something in return" thoughts and gentle dismiss them. In the absence of those thoughts, your positive feelings will return.

See if you can think of something thoughtful to do for someone, and don't expect anything in return-- whether it surprises your spouse with a clean garage or organized desk, mowing your neighbor's lawn, or coming home early from work to give your spouse a break from the kids. 

When you complete your favor, see if you can tap into the warm feeling of knowing you have done something beautiful without expecting anything from the person you have just helped. 

If you practice, I think you'll discover that the feeling themselves are reward enough.